Why Do Some People Always Have to be Right?
Where did the time go? I was thinking this blog post on The I’m Right Mask would be published in July! It’s all good, I detoured a little bit in August but am back at it. It has been an amazing summer. I traveled, laid by the ocean, played in the lakes, hung out with my incredible group of friends, and enjoyed lovely times with my family. Now we are heading towards the beautiful season of fall and with it comes a bit more continuity.
I also think one reason why I let myself go off deadline, besides my addiction to sun and water, is because I really had to dive into what this mask is about. I would say out of all of the masks I have blogged about, I relate least to this one. Now, I am not saying that I don’t ever act arrogant or feel the need to control, because that is far from the truth! But the I’m Right mask I don’t wear often. So I tried to dig into more about the pain surrounding the need for someone to wear this mask on a regular basis.
Here is my go at it…
The mask of I’m Right has a need to control situations and those individuals around her, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. In order for the I’m Right mask to feel safe, she has to make sure she is in charge and that she controls the outcome of any given situation. I’m Right has a better than you attitude. In order to feel visible to the world, she comes across as being arrogant and righteous in her positions. Her shame is that she is afraid that she will be unnoticed, unloved and invisible if she takes the mask off. As a child, her voice was often devalued or unheard which created a loss of control and safety. She worked hard at gaining attention from the people most important to her by taking on the responsibilities of others and began to believe that the world would fall apart around her if she let go of that power.
The challenge of this mask is to recognize there is a deeper need for all of the self-sacrificing which are to feel valued and loved by others. I’m Right needs to be willing to give up the title Master of the Universe and begin to trust the world and the people around her. She needs to consciously choose how she will care for herself and what she will do for others.
I know there are times when I am feeling insecure or undervalued, I will put on this mask and try to be the tough guy and push myself to take on all the jobs that are laid in front of me. It never lasts long though because it is absolutely draining and isolating to hold the weight of the world. When I find myself wearing it I have to stop and ask myself who am I not trusting and what do I need to clear in order for me to take the mask off.
How do you relate to this mask? Where do you see yourself wearing it? What beliefs drive you to put this mask on? How would it feel to take the world off your shoulders and recognize that your value needs to come from you first and that you have a choice in how to help others?
Fall is a time of reflection and letting go. I hope that this series on The Masks We Wear has been instrumental in you unconcealing more of your authentic self and motivation to let go of the parts that are not serving us.
Supporting you fully,
Maggie
PS. If you haven’t read the other blogs in this series, click here!
