The Poor Me Mask
We all have walked down a path with different circumstances and situations that have affected who we are. I call it our personal story or “personal drama”. We can use our personal drama as a way to learn and grow or use it as a way to stay stuck, hide or create the same joyless outcomes. We tend to hide when we feel embarrassed, ashamed or are afraid of judgment from others. One way we learn to hide is by wearing an emotional mask of what we want the world to see (If you haven’t read the first blog in this series, stop here and check it out). In this blog, I am going to focus on the “Poor Me” mask. I am sure most of us have worn this mask before at times and some of us love to hide in this mask and wear it continually.
People who thrive on chaos and drama typically feel like the fall guy or victim. When someone is wearing the Poor Me mask you often hear “I can’t believe this is happening to me” or “Here we go again!” The Poor Me mask is an expert at sniffing out undesirable situations but instead of turning around and running far away, she walks right into it. This way, Poor Me gets to continue to stay in the victim role and perpetuate the attention of others.
Poor Me was most likely developed at a young age through experiences of feeling bullied or victimized, leaving feelings of separation from others and feelings of powerlessness. Poor Me realizes that the only way to get attention and love is through the pity they feel for themselves and pity they suck from others.
When we play the role of victim, we get to point the finger and blame all of those around us. We don’t see what our responsibility is but instead feel helpless and wounded. Poor Me doesn’t have to make changes because she believes it’s everybody else’s job to change.
The challenge of this mask is affirming that Poor Me DOES have control over their situations. They need to awaken to the idea that they create their outcome. In order to do this, they must heal the wounds of unloveable, helpless and unworthy. They must own responsibility for their lives and decide that wearing this mask has become too painful and is no longer worth the cost.
In what situations do you like to hide in this mask? What quality would you need to own for yourself of in order to let it go? Is it capable, strong, or worthy? Begin to see how liberating it is to let go of feeling victimized by taking a step towards change.
Action for Change: Take a situation where you have felt victimized. Write it down and underline all of the factual pieces of your story. Re-read without the drama and see if you can identify where you need to take responsibility for the situation. Affirm that you are not alone or helpless and create a mantra with the quality that you need to own and repeat it on a daily basis for 7 days straight. For instance, “I am a strong, capable person!”
Supporting you fully,
Maggie
PS Up next, The Mask of The Temptress, my personal favorite!
