The Mask of The Temptress

I remember feeling so confident as a little girl and loving myself completely. That came crashing down at age 4 when I was being made fun of on the playground by a group of children.  It was the first time I doubted myself and wondered what was wrong with me.

I began to listen to people in my surroundings a bit more closely and digested what I heard in a way that left me feeling inadequate.  I heard things like:

Is that cookie really what you should be eating

I don’t think you can

You are acting too big for your britches

That was a stupid choice

You’re weak

That’s not good enough
All of these beliefs which I internalized about me created a very insecure girl that began to feel awkward and unloveable.

This is how my predominant mask formed, The Mask of The Temptress. (Don’t miss out, read my first and second blog in this series!)

The Mask of The Temptress doesn’t want anyone to see her flaws and insecurities. She can’t let anyone see how unloveable and empty she feels. The Temptress has to feed off of the confidence of others so she can feel better about herself and will sacrifice pieces of herself in order to feel like she has the flattery and love of others.

Because of my limiting beliefs, I concluded that I was not good enough and not worthy of love. In order for me to feel any sense of value, I needed to attach myself to someone. I would hide my unloveable and seek the love and attention of others even if it was bad attention that I was receiving.

Inevitably, it didn’t work and I failed time and time again in my relationships. The last fall was so hard that I didn’t think I could peel myself off the ground. In that moment I had to make a choice, I was either going to rot on the ground or I was going to pull myself up and swear I would never land there again.

The challenge of The Temptress is that she has to be willing to recognize that her need for attention and the affections of others is a deep seeded wound and cry to feed those things to herself.  The Temptress has to admit that the failures she is creating is exactly what she is asking for on an unconscious level.

I had to take full responsibility for my life. I had to sit in my own emptiness so I could begin to recognize that the affection of others would not fill my brokenness. Once I began my journey to reclaim my broken parts, I was able to connect with my higher self and fill my unloveable with self-love and worthiness.

Going through that emptiness and healing of my own self-worth, was the catalyst to creating a life filled with joy, love, and self-confidence beyond my belief.

How have you seen this mask play out in your life? In what ways has The Temptress shown up and what do you need to do to make peace with it? When you can uncover why you put the mask on in the first place, you will be able to take it off and become liberated from its power.